New Mom No-Nos: Things Not to Say to or Ask a New Mom

See? I told you she was cute!

Ten weeks ago I gave birth to a delightful baby girl named Erica June. Double motherhood is exhausting, but she’s totally worth it.

I’m not sure if I didn’t notice it as much the first time around, or if I was even more sleep deprived than I am this time, but people say annoying/insulting/ignorant things to new moms! I’m sure they’re well meaning, but I thought I would come up with a list of things you probably shouldn’t say to or ask a new mom (unless you’re just feeling mean spirited).

1. Is he/she sleeping through the night?
Um, just look at these dark circles under my eyes. And the fact that I just swerved into that wall while walking down the hallway. Do I look like I’m getting sleep to you? Do I?! Sorry, I’m just a little on edge.

2. Are you breastfeeding?
Nonya business. Unless you’re my doctor, or another new/soon-to-be mom looking for support, this isn’t really necessary for you to know. If breastfeeding is going well, awesome. If not, you’re likely to cause feelings of anxiety or guilt.

3. It looks like you’ve lost almost all of your pregnancy weight.
Nice try. The key word there is almost. Please don’t remind me of the 15-20-25 pounds I have left to lose. Instead, just say “you look great.”

4. Are you planning to have another?
For pete’s sake, this one’s still hot out of the oven! And besides, until she’s sleeping through the night, I’m done breastfeeding, and I’ve lost those last pregnancy pounds, I probably won’t be engaging in any activities that could put me in that condition again.

So there you have it. Next time you run into an acquaintance who just had a baby, simply say “your baby is beautiful and so are you.” You really can’t go wrong with that.

7 Responses to New Mom No-Nos: Things Not to Say to or Ask a New Mom

  1. Karna says:

    Cat! I didn't know you had a blog! Where on earth do you find the time, superwoman??

  2. Cat Poland says:

    Reblogged this on Cat Poland and commented:

    I have several friends who’ve had babies recently, and I’d like to help them a little by “educating” the general public about new mom etiquette. :-) (This was written shortly after I had my second daughter.)

  3. Robbie says:

    What is it about being pregnant/having a new baby makes people think being nosy is socially acceptable?

  4. Joyce Curry says:

    ok, I know I have asked a couple of these to my kids/ kids-in-laws, is that allowed? lol Some of us old ladies are just nosy and see a new baby and go back to when ours were babies…..

    • Cat Poland says:

      Oh, well that’s a totally different story. You have your “mother-in-law” card, right? That means you can do whatever you want. :-) Just so long as “Is the baby sleeping through the night?” is followed with “Let me take the baby for a few hours so you can get some sleep.” :-)

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