To the scantily clad woman at Starbucks: I’m sorry

Dear mystery woman, I’m sorry. (Image from

Friends, something has been bothering me for awhile. Nagging at my conscience, my gut. It’s about a picture I posted on my Facebook page. A picture of a young woman at Starbucks who appeared to be wearing only her underwear (or very, very short shorts). To be honest, I wasn’t making fun of her. I was simply amazed and confused. We just don’t see things like that very often around here. So then, I wrote a blog post, about how she was probably a good mom because her young daughter was dressed appropriately and she was treating her to a yummy breakfast. Still, something felt off. I don’t know this woman. I don’t know her story. So, I’ve removed both the photo and the post. Perhaps that is against blogger protocol, but it’s my blog. And I’m doing what I think is right. No, I didn’t get any negative feedback about the photo, just one thoughtful comment from a dear friend:

I’m waiting for the day when I see a person and wonder if they know Jesus, rather than having thoughts about their outer appearance. Ughh! That sounds impossible.

And right there, I knew what I’d done was wrong. Even though I had no ill will towards this mystery woman, I’d judged her solely on her appearance, and not on her character. So whoever you are, I’m sorry. Maybe I can buy you a cup of coffee someday and I can get to know the real you.

6 Responses to To the scantily clad woman at Starbucks: I’m sorry

  1. When I Blink says:

    Nice. There needs to be a website somewhere, where we can all post apologies like these. (I would probably fill up 10 screens worth and then get kicked off for breaking the site by doing too many things requiring apologies.)

  2. Good for you Cat! Great lesson in doing the right thing, listening to your inner voice (God)and righting a wrong.
    Thanks for having the courage to share your story.

  3. Andrea Anglin says:

    Yes. Good thinking, sweet lady!

  4. Jessica says:

    I never saw that post on your blog, but with the recent story about the “overweight” news anchor hearing from a member of the public who didn’t even know her but took the time to write a letter calling her obese… I’ve been thinking a lot about another person’s looks pretty much being off-limits for us to comment on, unless we know them very, very well. And even then – caution and tact is a must. I know I’m not alone when I wish that the person who once told me I look like a man (I don’t! I work outside, get dirty and have short hair, but I’m all woman, dangit!) would have thought about what they were saying before they said it, gotten to know the real, kind-hearted, fun loving me before voicing an opinion that could have hurt my feelings. The hardest thing for me to do is to admit I’m wrong – but you’ve done it beautifully :)

  5. kiki says:

    That’s a really huge and hard thing–to think of whether they know Jesus instead of the other, easy, outward junk. I try to catch and remind myself that I don’t want to put a barrier between me and sharing the gospel with them. This means not making comments sometimes that are too opinionated about makeup, sex, smoking–all specific examples where in my life, I’ve said stuff to people and then later realized I alienated or made them feel judged. Even if my intent was to be a witness by sharing what I thought about those things. Doh. Remembering the gospel is the KEY is so hard. I think if we do that (and I usually don’t) then we move past the short shorts and the other junk. Great post, great reminder!

    I like you.

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